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_Thank you coachingStijn van Willigen2017-08-19T11:31:28+00:00

Thank you

For your interest in online coaching. I will contact you shortly.

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info@stijnvanwilligen.com

David Blesstraat 28HS, Amsterdam

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stijnvanwilligen

🚀 Msc. Oprichter @nutriaiplatform
🍽️ Jouw recepten in 'n app, automatisch geschaald op macro's
👉 Partners: Trainmore | HappyHealthy | F. d. Blanken

🛌In 2021 I slept for only 5 to 6 hours per nigh

🛌In 2021 I slept for only 5 to 6 hours per night for several months. It was an intense period: my company NutriAI was being acquired, and I also moved to Bordeaux.

The love of my girlfriend guided me through it.

When leaders (including girlfriends) recognize your values and trust you to live and work accordingly, they support your mental needs.

This leads to greater happiness: at home and at work.
[studies 13,14]

🌀 If not: you end up in a downward spiral.

Damaging Mental Needs, which can trigger the following steps… [studies 7,8,9,11]

More stress.
Worse sleep.
More daily fatigue.
Less daily mindfulness.
Fewer choices in line with your values.
🌀 Even more damage to mental needs. And so on.

👉Tip 1️. Do work in line with your values (autonomy) that you’re good at (competence).

Values examples: social justice, achievement, or national security.

👉Tip 2️. Invest in relationships with colleagues (connection).

Learn about their interests and listen to their problems.

👉Tip 3️. Work under better leadership.

A need-supportive manager takes the employee's perspective and [9,15]:

→ Allows you to work according to your authentic values (autonomy).
→ Maintains a warm work environment where you can thrive (connection).
→ Remains positive that you will succeed and provides constructive feedback (competence).

P.S. Discover the status of your mental needs (and your sleep) with a 2-minute test.

Comment “check” and I'll send it to you.

Studies:
(1) Lim 2010, (2) Curcio 2006, (3) Benca 1992, (4) Strine 2005, (5) Deci & Ryan 2007, (6) Ng 2012, (7) Campbell 2016, (8) Niemiec 2022, (9) Campbell 2018, (10) Campbell 2008, (11) Campbell 2021, (12) Tout 2023, (13) Aryee 2013, (14) Broeck 2016, (15) Slemp 2024.

🧂Imagine this: you ask someone with a broken ar

🧂Imagine this: you ask someone with a broken arm to pass the salt.

But she can't manage it. Would you judge her?

🎂What if you invite someone with an anxiety disorder to your birthday party, but he can't make it.

Would you judge him, or try to understand why he couldn't make it?

Now, consider personal value differences:

Suppose you ask someone to abandon their deeply rooted family traditions, such as using herbs for healing.

🔬…To embrace your scientific knowledge that some herbs can even hinder healing.

And that person refuses.

Would you judge her or try to understand why she holds on to family tradition?

Our values - such as respecting family traditions - shape our moral judgment of behavior. [sources 1,2]

If you want to make yourself and others happier, sometimes it's better to take a step back and gain perspective. [3,4]

Perspective on other people's values (and norms):

What has someone been through that influences their choices today?

♥️ Research shows that taking perspective is very effective for channeling your emotions to improve relationships. [5]

It’s the core of autonomy support: allowing people to be their authentic selves. [6,7,8,9]

You can try to apply this every time before judging someone's behavior, for one single day.

What do you notice?

Supporting evidence:
(1) Feather 1996, (2) Rokeach 1973, (3) Broeck 2016, (4) Slemp 2024, (5) Gross 2002, (6) De Charms 1968, (7) Friedman 2003, (8) Ryan 1993, (9) Shapiro 1981, (10) Ryan 1989.

🤔Years ago I felt unwell at work: my energy was

🤔Years ago I felt unwell at work: my energy was low. The day couldn't pass quickly enough.

I was not working in line with my important value of
Honesty (Helping category):

I felt forced to create content without substantial backing and to tell white lies here and there.

🔬 53 years of scientific research confirm that not working according to your values is exhausting. [sources 4-10]

Working in line with your Values fulfills your psychological need for Autonomy:

🧭 The natural tendency to want to make your own choices, also at work. [1,2,3]

Choices that fit your authentic self, without external pressure.

Your Values represent your authentic self.

They form the story to justify your choices.

There are 10 basic values, highlighted in the image. [11]

Everyone has them, but some people find certain values more important than others. [11,12,13]

📏 The value is the measure, the norm is the standard you set.

Your norm for Helping might be visiting your mother every two months.

Someone else might take their mother into their home.

And quit their job to take care of her until the end of her life.

Examples of conflicting values at work:

1:
💡 You prefer implementing new technologies and work processes (Stimulation).
You find this more important than Tradition, sticking to what you already know.

2:
🫶🏻 You enjoy helping colleagues with their tasks and offering support (Helping).
More important than personal Achievement.

3:
📈 You continually follow training and courses to improve (Achievement).

More important than (financial) Security, when you would mainly save this money.

Do you want (deeper) insight into your own (work) values?

Comment “test” and I'll send you the scientifically validated test.

References:
(1) De Charms 1968, (2) Friedman 2003, (3) Ryan 1993, (4) Ryan 2018, (5) Yu 2017, (6) Slemp 2024, (7) Baard 2004, (8) Moran 2012, (9) Nie 2015, (10) Steckermeier 2020, (11) Schwartz 2012, (12) Davidov 2008, (13) Schwartz 1995.

Eating, drinking, sleeping: needs that serve our w

Eating, drinking, sleeping: needs that serve our wellbeing. But there are other, perhaps even more important needs.

The psychological basic needs: ABC (comment "check" to get a DM with the test)

🧭 A - Autonomy: I want to be myself and do what I want, without judgment. [1]

🔗 B - Belonging: I want to be understood and accepted. [2]

📈 C - Competence: I want to be good at something and achieve mastery. [3]

For 53 years, many thousands of studies tested the result of satisfying these ABC needs across all cultures worldwide. [8 - 17 (and more)]

Time and again, they found:

They are essential ingredients for flourishing: energy, wellbeing, and self worth.

Frustrating these needs is associated with the opposite: low energy, depression/burnout, feeling unworthy: life is not worth living. [4]

This applies everywhere:
🏢 at work
👩‍👩‍👦‍👦 with family
🤝 with friends
🏫 at school
👫 in romantic relationships

Recently, @chivo.opleidingen proposed a new candidate need:

Justice: I want to be treated fairly.

Fulfilling this need has a strong relationship with (work) performance. [5]

And the flower in the image? Purpose: what I do has meaning, which is strongly related to fulfilling the above four needs. [6]

@eliangoettsch explains the Self-Determination Theory (SDT) of these needs clearly and vividly in a short podcast interview (although in Dutch). See my first comment.

Do you ever reflect on the status of your psychological needs?

Satisfied? Thwarted? What can you concretely do about it?

Comment with "check," and I will send you a validated 5-minute questionnaire.

Studies:
1. De Charms (1968), Friedman (2003), Ryan (1993), Shapiro (1981)
2. Bowlby (1979), Baumeister & Leary (1995), Ryan (1995)
3. Bandura (1989), Deci (1975), Harter (2012), White (1959)
4. Bartholomew (2011)
5. Aryee (2013)
6. Martela (2024)|
7. Cordeiro (2016)
8. Deci (1971)
9. llardi et al. (1993)
10. Sheldon et al. (1996)
11. La Guardia et al. (2000)
12. Deci et al. (2001)
13. Reis et al. (2000)
14. Sheldon et al. (2004)
15. Baard et al. (2004)
16. Deci et al. (2007)
17. Hodge et al. (2009)

...and 300.000+ others.

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